Broke & Automated

They said "automate everything, make the machine sing"

I said "give me a weekend" and I built the whole thing

Workflows on workflows, the copy writes itself

They clapped in the meeting and put me on the shelf

Broke and automated, delivered every time

Hit every metric, optimized the line

Rating: four point eight out of five for execution

But the budget's still the same - that's the only resolution

January: strategy deck, they loved the vision

February: cut the team, "AI fills the missing"

March: I launched three campaigns on a shoestring thread

April: C-suite screenshot my results for the board ahead

May: "can you do that again but bigger, faster, cheaper?"

June: I did it - still no raise, the silence getting deeper

Broke and automated, delivered every time

Hit every metric, optimized the line

Rating: four point eight out of five for execution

But the budget's still the same - that's the only resolution

Got a funnel that converts at four point six percent

Got an email sequence running while I sleep, while I pay rent

Attribution model says I drove the Q3 win

Finance says "great work" and locks the budget in again

Boss shows my dashboard to the CEO on Friday

Monday comes around - same headcount, same spend, same "find a way"

"Human performance review. Quarter four."

"Execution score: 4.8. Outstanding."

"Automation efficiency: 4.9. Exceptional."

"Revenue attributed: confirmed."

"Budget approved for next quarter: unchanged."

"Headcount approved: unchanged."

"Recommendation: keep doing what you're doing."

"You've been a great user of our free tier."

Broke and automated, delivered every time

Hit every metric, optimized the line

Rating: four point eight out of five for execution

But the budget's still the same - that's the only resolution

Maybe I'll go beg on the corner, make a sign

"Will A/B test for food" - the copy's still on-brand, still fine

The tools gave me a rating and the rating's looking great

Four point eight out of five - just not enough to eat