My Cousin Can Do It

Oh, they say it’s just pictures...

Oh, they say it’s just words...

Remember the days of the developer’s tears?

"Too many frameworks!" they cried through the years.

React for the morning, and Angular noon,

We patted their backs, said, "It’ll end soon."

Oh, poor little coders, so stressed by the tech,

While we just wrote copy and collected a check.

Put up a billboard, bought a TV ad,

Marketing life really wasn't that bad.

But the universe laughed, the algorithm flipped,

And the marketer’s script got entirely ripped.

Now who is the one with the tech stack pain?

Now who has the data melting their brain?

We carry the weight of a thousand apps,

Trying to fill in the digital gaps!

I am the vibe-coder, making it flow.

I am the scientist, watching it grow.

I am the analyst, crunching the sheet.

I am the psychologist, finding the beat.

But the hardest part? The ultimate scar?

Everyone thinks they’re a marketing star!

"My cousin can do it," "Just make a meme!"

Killing the soul of the marketing dream.

Everybody knows best, ay! (Everybody knows best!)

But nobody runs the test, ay! (Nobody runs the test!)

I’m writing the prompt to generate code,

Fixing the front-end before it explodes.

I'm querying SQL to find out the truth,

Analyzing the trauma of Gen-Z youth.

I know why they click, I know why they scroll,

I'm looking right into the customer's soul.

I built the predictive model from scratch,

Ensuring the tone and the visuals match.

Then here comes the boss with a coffee in hand,

Saying, "My ten-year-old nephew could manage this brand."

Now who is the one with the tech stack pain?

Now who has the data melting their brain?

We carry the weight of a thousand apps,

Trying to fill in the digital gaps!

I am the vibe-coder, making it flow.

I am the scientist, watching it grow.

I am the analyst, crunching the sheet.

I am the psychologist, finding the beat.

But the hardest part? The ultimate scar?

Everyone thinks they’re a marketing star!

"My cousin can do it," "Just make a meme!"

Killing the soul of the marketing dream.

It’s funny... it’s tragic... the irony stings.

We master the math and the psychological strings.

We left the old developers far, far behind,

To become the ultimate master of mind.

Yet a guy from accounting looks at my screen...

Says, "Can you just make the logo more green?

It's easy, right? You just post it online."

I force a smile... and I say... "Yeah, it's fine."

Vibe-coder! (Can you make it go viral?)

Scientist! (I don't like that shade!)

Psychologist! (Can we get more followers?)

Analyst! (My wife uses TikTok!)

Everybody knows best, ay! (Everybody knows best!)

But nobody runs the test, ay! (Nobody runs the test!)

Welcome to twenty-twenty-six...

Where we do it all... while taking your tips.